So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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