My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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