Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
