best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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