I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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