Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
