Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
