I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
