You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
