Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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