Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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