im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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