So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
