Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
