Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
