Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
