her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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