i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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