How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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