sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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