just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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