so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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