you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
