Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
