On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I need to align my fucking chakras
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
