you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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