After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize