so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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