You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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