Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
