batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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