There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
