this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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