yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize