I hope mine doesn't look like that
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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