I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
