how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
