The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize