I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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