i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Who died my cat blue again?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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