In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
