what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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