i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
