Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
