So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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