How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
