Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
