I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
