Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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