We're facebook friends in real life
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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