I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
