I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
