I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
