Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
