Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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