Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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