I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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