i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
