i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
