mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
