it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize