I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
