if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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